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Autism and marriage aren't easy. We're here because we really get it.

REAL Neurodiverse Marriage

Make your life what you want it to be.

I have 21 years of personal experience with autism and marriage and a lifetime of experience with autism and close family relationships. I have been consulting and coaching neurotypical, non-autistic neurodivergent, and autistic individuals managing neurodiverse marriage and divorce since 2017.

I offer relationship services, divorce services, autistic parent coaching, and court expert witness services. I support my clients in whatever decisions they make -- staying married, getting divorced, or finding other suitable arrangements. I help them prevent expensive high-conflict neurodiverse divorces whenever possible, saving them a LOT of money in attorney fees along the way. And, whenever I can, I help autistic parents maintain positive relationships with children during and after divorce.

I have a master's in psychology from Harvard University where I conducted some of the first quantitative research on neurodiverse marriage in the world, receiving the Director's Thesis Award for my work. I am a trained and ICF-aligned coach and will make YOUR sessions about YOU.

I am neurotypical.

Anne MacMillan, MLA

Consultant, Coach, Educator and Expert Witness

Online Course Available Now

Married to Autism? Your Journey to Connection and Ease

An Online Course for Neurotypicals

and Non-Autistic Neurodivergents

Only $34.99 USD

Get the benefits of my education and life experience for less than the cost of one restaurant meal for two!

Neurodiverse relationships can be very confusing. Comprehending YOURSELF and the ways autism affects YOU can make all the difference. Take this first step towards

making life changes that will bring YOU the

Connection and Ease that YOU deserve.

Vicki R.

Found her insights spot on. I gifted this course to 2 others before I even finished it. Refreshing thoughts. Focus is on you, the NT of the relationship with great ways to look at things from both sides. Been married to Autism for 45 years and found this course something I will review on a regular basis to support myself.

Katie G.

This is a MUST for anyone who has a partner with autism. No matter where you are in your relationship, even if your relationship has ended, this is for YOU! Anne’s knowledge, compassion, guidance is unparalleled and unprecedented. Thank you Anne.

Now Launching NT Community Groups!

$100 USD a month for 2 months

Learning and growing together is much more satisfying than learning and growing alone.

Join a community group of neurotypicals (and non-autistic neurodivergents) to discuss the modules of my online course, Your Journey to Connection and Ease, in a live fun, safe and informal yet intimate setting. Watch each module on your own time then meet via zoom each week to talk through the module's personal development questions.

Coming Soon: Online courses and community groups for autistics

Neurodiverse Couples' Live Weekly Group

Looking for something you and your partner can participate in together?

These live weekly zoom Q&A sessions offer you and your partner a time to listen, talk and think together. Come prepared for a neurodiverse group and an opportunity to interact with me and each other.

Questions can be asked beforehand on the REAL Neurodiverse Discussion Board (included with membership).

Three months FREE then just $9.97 USD per month, cancel anytime

My Services

I offer consulting and coaching services to support you in achieving what you want from your life and for your partner, family and children. I work with either the autistic or the neurotypical partner.

Anne MacMillan, MLA

Consultant, Coach, Educator and Expert Witness

My Newest Blog Posts

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10 Things to Know about Neurodiverse Relationships

July 13, 20232 min read

Neurodiverse marriages look very "normal" from the outside.

The basics:

  1. A neurodiverse relationship is a relationship between a typically developing, or “neurotypical,” person and a person with high-functioning autism. High-functioning autism in adults can be difficult to recognize. Many older adults on the autism spectrum were never diagnosed as children. Many grow up, get married and have successful careers without knowing they are on the autism spectrum.

  2. Neurodiverse marriages are every bit as much mixed marriages as mixed-orientation marriages or mixed-faith marriages. In neurodiverse marriages the incompatibilities are neurological incompatibilities rather than sexuality or religious incompatibilities.

  3. Autism affects communication and communication is an essential part of marriage and adult relationships. Communication is an essential part of marriage and both partners in neurodiverse relationships tend to experience distress related to communication difficulties. Neurotypical people and people with autism communicate differently.

  4. As autism has a genetic component, many neurodiverse couples have children on the autism spectrum. As autism is more easily recognizable in children than adults, many parents on the autism spectrum are diagnosed only after a child is diagnosed. The presence of children on the autism spectrum contributes more stress to the parents’ marriage.

  5. In the early days of neurodiverse relationships, both partners may believe they have found great compatibility. The neurotypical partner often finds great enjoyment in helping the partner with autism navigate social situations. The partner with autism may find the neurotypical partner to be more accepting than other people.

  6. Later on in relationships, both partners tend to experience great dissatisfaction. Neurotypical partners feel deprived of emotional, social and sexual connection. Partners with autism feel controlled and manipulated and as if typically developing partners aren’t doing enough for the marriage. Neurotypical partners, meanwhile, finds themselves feeling drained because they give too much.

  7. Neurodiverse marriages look very “normal” from the outside. Extended family members, community members and colleagues usually have little idea that so much distress is going on within their friends’ and loved ones’ marriages.

  8. Neurotypical marriages are vulnerable to domestic abuse, most often psychological, sexual and financial, although sometimes physical abuse does occur. While marriage is a foundational component of society, it is inappropriate for professionals, clergy and loved ones to encourage individuals to remain in abusive relationships.

  9. Neurodiverse marriages are vulnerable to high-conflict divorce. Sometimes, mixed divorces cost tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars. Attorneys are the only ones who benefit. Both partners and their children experience extreme duress.

  10. Autism is not easy. It is not easy for people who have it and it is not easy for their loved ones. Both partners in neurodiverse marriages need resources and support — not only the partners with autism. Both partners are equally important. Neurodiversity includes everyone.

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Anne MacMillan, MLA

Anne MacMillan is the founder of REAL Neurodiverse Marriage. She has 21 years of experience with autism and marriage, a lifetime of experience with autism and close family relationships and has been coaching and consulting individuals managing autism and marriage since 2017. She has a master's in psychology from Harvard University where she did some of the world's first quantitative research on autism and marriage. She is neurotypical.

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My Research

Some of the world's first quantitative research on autism and marriage

I was working on a master's in psychology at Harvard University when I realized my husband of almost 20 years was autistic. I was shocked by how little was known about an issue that affected my own life so dramatically. So, I shifted my research interests to autism and marriage and was ultimately given the Director's Thesis Award for my work.

My White Papers and Pamphlets

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