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About Anne MacMillan

I built my original Neurodiverse Family Systems Theory on my education, personal life experience, and the professional experience I gained in the private neurodiverse services practice I founded in 2017.

Today, my services extend to support other professionals who have come to the new realization that neurodiversity is at the heart of many of the relationship challenges their adult clients face. Professionals can earn my Neurodiverse Family Systems Educator Credential (NFS-E) then use my practical 10-Step educational system, including quantitative assessments and support resources, to help their clients comprehend their relationship challenges and find the happiness and peace they deserve.

I have a research-based master's in psychology from Harvard University and studied developmental psychology as an undergrad. I received the Director's Thesis Award at Harvard for my original research on Level 1 autism and intimate life partnerships -- some of the first quantitative research on the subject in the world.

Altogether, I have over 50 years of personal life experience with neurodiverse family systems, over 20 years of personal life experience with neurodiverse intimate life partnerships, and 8 years of professional experience working with individuals managing the challenges of neurodiverse family systems.

I self-identify as a high body empathetic neurodivergent who just might also be a bit attention neurodivergent (ADHD). I am not autistic.

Anne MacMillan, MLA

Founder of the 10-Step Neurodiverse Family Systems Approach, Speaker, Researcher, Consultant, Coach, Educator and Expert Witness

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Married to Autism? Your Journey to Connection and Ease

An Online Course for Neurotypicals

and Non-Autistic Neurodivergents

Only $34.99 USD

Get the benefits of my education and life experience for less than the cost of one restaurant meal for two!

Neurodiverse relationships can be very confusing. Comprehending YOURSELF and the ways autism affects YOU can make all the difference. Take this first step towards

making life changes that will bring YOU the

Connection and Ease that YOU deserve.

Vicki R.

Found her insights spot on. I gifted this course to 2 others before I even finished it. Refreshing thoughts. Focus is on you, the NT of the relationship with great ways to look at things from both sides. Been married to Autism for 45 years and found this course something I will review on a regular basis to support myself.

Katie G.

This is a MUST for anyone who has a partner with autism. No matter where you are in your relationship, even if your relationship has ended, this is for YOU! Anne’s knowledge, compassion, guidance is unparalleled and unprecedented. Thank you Anne.

My Services

I offer consulting and coaching services to support you in achieving what you want from your life and for your partner, family and children. I work with either the autistic or the neurotypical partner.

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Anne MacMillan, MLA

Founder of the R.E.A.L. 10-Step Neurodiverse Family Systems Approach, Speaker, Researcher, Educator, Consultant, Coach and Expert Witness

My Newest Blog Posts

Anne MacMillan, MLA by a

Level 1 Autistic Adults in Our Families and Communities: Unseen Challenges and Neurodiverse Communication

August 19, 20245 min read

Autism is a natural neurological variation that affects communication and socializing. Level 1 autism is characterized by its subtler manifestations. Many trained professionals have difficulties recognizing it in adults due, in part, to the reality that many Level 1 autistic adults have developed effective compensatory strategies, helping them to manage the difficulties they face socializing with non-autistics.

Level 1 autism also requires less support than Levels 2 and 3 autism and professionals tend to prioritize to supporting Level 1 autistic children over Level 1 autistic adults. Level 1 autism is also much more apparent in children and many adults remain undiagnosed leading to a situation in which Level 1 autistic adults are integrated into our families and communities with relatively little societal or professional awareness of their presence or neurological differences.

The Journey from Childhood to Adulthood with Level 1 Autism

Children with Level 1 autism often struggle with social cues, making their condition more noticeable during early development. These children may find it difficult to engage in typical social interactions, leading to challenges in forming friendships and understanding social norms. However, as they grow older, many autistic individuals develop strategies to cope with and mask their social difficulties.

One key strategy is the use of declarative memory—the ability to recall facts and details. Autistic individuals often rely on their declarative memory to memorize social rules and patterns through a process of trial and error. When a particular behavior or response leads to social success, they are likely to repeat it, gradually building a repertoire of socially acceptable behaviors. Over time, this learned behavior can make their autism less apparent, allowing them to blend into the social world more seamlessly.

However, this adaptation does not change the fundamental differences in how their brains process social information. While these individuals may appear socially adept, they often continue to experience significant internal challenges, including anxiety, exhaustion, and confusion, as they work to navigate a world that inherently operates differently from their natural inclinations.

The Underdiagnosis of Level 1 Autism in Adults

A significant number of adults with Level 1 autism were never diagnosed as children, particularly those born before the 21st century when awareness and understanding of autism were far less developed. These individuals grew up in a world that largely did not recognize their neurological differences, leaving them to develop coping mechanisms on their own. As a result, many of these adults have gone "under the radar," living their lives without a formal diagnosis or understanding of their neurological variation.

This lack of recognition is not only a missed opportunity for support but also contributes to ongoing challenges in communication and social interactions. Without the framework of an autism diagnosis, these individuals—and those around them—may not fully understand the source of their social difficulties. This can lead to frustration, misunderstandings, and strained relationships in both personal and professional settings.

The Impact of Neurodiverse Miscommunications

The differences in how autistic and non-autistic brains perceive and process social information can lead to frequent miscommunications. These miscommunications occur across all areas of life—online, offline, in the workplace, and within families. Autistic individuals may struggle to interpret the non-verbal cues, tone of voice, or implied meanings that non-autistic individuals are using to communicate with each other and that they attempt to use to communicate with autistics, not knowing that the autistics aren't interpreting their cues in the same ways the non-autistics mean them. Non-autistic individuals may also misinterpret autistics' differences voice inflection, facial expressions and body language as rudeness or dismissal, while the autistics have no intention to communicate such messages. Autistics' more direct communication style, literal thinking, or unique perspectives can amplify the non-autistic sense that Level 1 autistics are rude, disinterested, or lack understanding.

These misunderstandings are compounded by the fact that most people do not assume that someone else’s brain might work fundamentally differently from their own. Because Level 1 autism is often "invisible" in adults, these individuals may be perceived as quirky, introverted, or socially awkward rather than recognized as neurodivergent. This lack of awareness on both sides can lead to feelings of isolation, frustration, and conflict.

Recognizing and Supporting Neurodiverse Individuals

Given the prevalence of undiagnosed Level 1 autism in adults, it is crucial to foster a greater awareness and understanding of neurodiversity in our communities. Recognizing that not everyone processes social information in the same way is the first step toward reducing the frequency and impact of neurodiverse miscommunications.

For non-autistic individuals, this means being mindful of the different ways people communicate and interact. It involves being patient, asking clarifying questions, and avoiding assumptions about someone’s intentions or abilities based on their social behavior. For autistic individuals, receiving a diagnosis later in life can be a powerful tool for self-understanding and acceptance, as well as for seeking appropriate support and accommodations.

In the workplace, educational settings, and social environments, creating spaces that are inclusive and accommodating of neurodiverse needs can help bridge the communication gap between autistic and non-autistic individuals. This includes providing clear, direct communication, offering written instructions or reminders, and fostering an environment where all communication styles are respected and valued.

Conclusion

Level 1 autism in adults presents unique challenges that often go unrecognized due to the subtleties of the neurological variation. While many individuals have developed sophisticated compensatory strategies to navigate the social world, the fundamental neurological differences between autistic and non-autistic individuals remain. These differences can lead to frequent and sometimes significant miscommunications, affecting relationships and well-being.

By increasing awareness and understanding of Level 1 autism and the diverse ways in which it can manifest, we can create more inclusive and supportive environments for all individuals. Recognizing and respecting neurodiversity not only helps reduce miscommunications but also enriches our communities by valuing the unique perspectives and contributions of every individual.


Support for Professionals and Clients:

Neurodiverse Credentialing and Practice Support for Psychologists, Therapists, Social Workers, Clergy, and Domestic Violence workers is available here.

Autistic and non-autistic members of neurodiverse family systems can reach out for support here.

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Anne MacMillan, MLA

Anne MacMillan, MLA is the founder of R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse 10-Step Family Systems Approach, designed to support Level 1 autistic adults and their neurodivergent and neurotypical family members as they come to understand what makes them different, work to improve their relationships, and take action to improve their lives. MacMillan has over 50 years of personal life experience with neurodiverse family systems, over 20 years of personal life experience in a neurodiverse intimate life partnership, and has been professionally supporting autistics and non-autistic adults in neurodiverse close family relationships since 2017. She has a master's in psychology from Harvard University where she did some of the world's first quantitative research on autism and intimate life partnerships. She self-identifies as a high body empathetic, or a non-autistic neurodivergent with a high level of body empathy.

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My Research

Some of the world's first quantitative research on autism and marriage

I was working on a master's in psychology at Harvard University when I realized my husband of almost 20 years was autistic. I was shocked by how little was known about an issue that affected my own life so dramatically. So, I shifted my research interests to autism and marriage and was ultimately given the Director's Thesis Award for my work.

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